


Hobo101

by surestsmile



Category: Kamen Rider OOO
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-27
Updated: 2011-08-27
Packaged: 2017-10-23 02:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/245417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surestsmile/pseuds/surestsmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five lessons to being a hobo in Japan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hobo101

The more Eiji roamed the city with Ankh, the more he began to realize that the Greeed seemed intent on following him around because there was nothing better to do. This was all well and good, because Eiji wasn't sure if he wanted to let Ankh out of his sight either. Except...well, if Ankh was going to follow him, he needed to know how to take care of himself.

Hobo101 - Lesson 01: How to Take Care of Your ~~Underwear~~ Clothes

"You can get free samples of soap from the marketing ladies around the supermarkets," Eiji explained to a disinterested-looking Ankh. "Clean underwear is very important," he continued earnestly. "There are a lot of free taps like this one around the city which we can use to wash our clothes, so there's no need to be worried."

"What is this underwear thing you are speaking of," Ankh said. He tugged irritably at the collar of his dress shirt, and already he had tripped over the loosed laces in his shoes in the space of five minutes. "I don't need it."

"Well, you...may not, but the officer might need it," Eiji said anxiously. He eyed the steadily distintegrating shirt, and sighed. "Maybe we should get you a change of clothes too."

Hobo101 - Lesson 02: Shopping for Clothes

It didn't take long for Ankh to start rifling through the piles of defective clothing while Eiji haggled with the proprietor over the already low prices.

"I don't suppose you do trade-ins, do you?" Eiji asked after going through his assortment of coins. He'd have to hit one of his emergency stashes after this stop; buying Ankh numerous ice-creams to pacify the Greeed had blown his wallet for the foreseeable week.

"Eiji," Ankh called. He held up several shirts which all had one sleeve torn off on the right side, and grinned. "I want these."

Eiji winced. "I don't think they're appro-"

"They're off for 60%, with trade-ins," the proprietor said, and Eiji immediately whirled around and said, "I'll buy 'em."

Hobo101 - Lesson 03: Finding Shelter

"Benches are nice places to sleep on in summer, when it's not raining," Eiji said as Ankh snacked on yet another ice-candy. The new shirt looked ridiculous and lopsided on Ankh, but the Greeed seemed less discomfited and Eiji supposed that that was a good thing. Better to have a content monster than one who might, possibly, wreak havoc on the city because he was denied candy.

"But since we're coming to winter soon, subways are good for taking shelter, provided we clear out in time for the morning rush." Eiji had a thoughtful look on his face. "We need to gather cardboard too, I guess."

"I'd rather sleep in a tree," Ankh said rather suddenly, and Eiji stopped to find him looking speculatively at the sparse trees that littered the park. "Or on top of those boxes." Ankh continued, shifting his gaze to the many buildings.

"W-well," Eiji stammered. "I suppose you could, but..."

"Then I would," Ankh said, and smiled as though that's settled.

Hobo101 - Lesson 04: Feeding Oneself

Ankh looked rather uncomfortable now that he wasn't under the open sky, but he didn't resist Eiji dragging him into a supermarket by hand. Eiji liked supermarkets, they were clean and sometimes they had interesting events going on from different countries and it was always nice revisiting his memories, but most importantly, _they had free food_.

"It's pretty simple, we'll take a loop around the food section and we should be done for lunch," Eiji said. Ankh looked dubious at the prospect that feeding oneself could be so easy, but Eiji shrugged and said, "Well, this is our way."

Still, Ankh's perpetual scowl seemed to intimidate most of the promoters, who had been full of smiles peddling their products before the Greeed strolled up, one palm rudely out. Eiji had to push his arm down and smile apologetically before accepting the samples, whispering, "Sorry, he's a foreigner."

"You're actually pretty cheap," Ankh said bluntly as they walked around the floor eating, and Eiji winced even as he smiled sheepishly. "Ah...well."

Hobo101 - Final Lesson: Putting What You've Learned To The Test (Or Not)

For all that had happened that day, Eiji counted it to be fairly smooth-sailing. Ankh seemed to have taken his advice in stride, and now they're settling down for the night, Ankh leaping up a tree like he said he would. There was a slight damp breeze, but Eiji had checked the weather news half an hour earlier and there wasn't any sign of rain, so he decided that it was just good fortune, as always.

Except he was rudely woken up, heavy sheets of rain simply pouring and suddenly Ankh was in his face, looking for all the world like a drowned rat and pitching an absolute fit.

"EIJI. I WANT A ROOF. NOW."

Well, Eiji thought. Sometimes, you really can't be prepared for everything.


End file.
